Monday, 12 January 2015

Afelia Pork

As you may have guessed, I have a very British love of the double entendre (and, yes, the irony of something as British as football hooliganism and binge drinking having a French name does not escape me). To really enjoy a good double entendre you do have to need it to be accompanied by the appropriate sound and all the double entendres in this blog update will have a convenient player to give you a sound from that British institution, the Carry On films, to enhance your smutty enjoyment.

Cookery is chocker-block with double entendres from your coq-au-vin... your spotted dick.

Afelia pork is another, though slightly disappointing in the double entendre front. Obviously it would be sound even more rude if it was made with steak and was called afelia rump.

This double entendre-rich blog entry builds on my previous one for pulled pork, though that didn't benefit from the sounds. That recipe is one of the rash of similar dishes that have been doing the rounds for various cuts of meat for a while now, and I can see why they are so popular as I really like my meat pulled.

If that sounds appealing, do look it up. You'll find my entry very satisfying.

1 heaped tbsp whole coriander seeds
Juice of 1 lemon (works out about 2 tbsp)
2 tbsp dry white wine
3 large cloves of garlic, crushed
Salt and pepper
500g lean pork meat in 2-3cm cubes (tenderloin is good)
1 tbsp olive oil 

Meat mixed with the marinade, ready to go in the fridge to steep

Crush the coriander seeds in a pestle and mortar. Yes, I'm THAT kind of cookery prick who has a pestle and mortar. Crushing them between two plates also works if you don't happen to be a foodie wanker.

Mix the crushed seeds with the lemon juice, wine, garlic, salt and pepper and half of the olive oil, then mix well.

Add the pork, and stir so that it's well covered by the liquid, cover and put it in the fridge to marinate for at least a couple of hours. This allows the marinade to tenderise the meat as well as making it taste nicer.

Be aware that your fridge will smell like Dracula's worst nightmare with the garlic.

Pork on the hob, cooking

Heat the rest of the oil in a frying pan or wok on the hob and add the meat plus any remaining  marinade and keep stirring on a medium heat until the pork is cooked, about 20 minutes.

The liquid will reduce down to an almost syrupy consistency.

Serve with roasted peppers and perhaps a rice dish, like my recipe for tomato pilaf.

And here it is ready to eat

You could make quite a feast out of this with a starter and dessert. As a starter, a nice soup and it doesn't come any nicer than the wet, fishy mouthful of clam chowder.

A good dessert to have with this dish would be something fruity, perhaps pears poached in port, since there isn't anything nicer than a big juicy pear.

This recipe doesn't have any butter in it, but I do like to stick a knob in when I'm cooking.

Afelia is usually a dish made with red wine from Cyprus but this is Delia Smith's version made with white. You can always rely on Delia but I'm a bigger fan of Fanny Craddock's recipes as well. Delia's are great, but I love the taste of Fanny's.

My wife can't think of double entendres so I had to give her one.

  Thanks to who I've linked to for all the Carry On sounds


  1. This might be one of the most amazing posts that I have ever read. I forwarded this to my very British partner and he laughed. :P

    1. Thanks. It is a very British form of humour. For a Greek dish. Go figure :)

  2. Hilarious! And a tasty post! LOL I think my fridge probably always smells like Dracula's worst nightmare! I recently made my favorite dishes from a restaurant in the US called The Stinking Rose. As it's name suggests -- all garlic. ;)

  3. Laughing and eating, you've combined my two favourite things. Great post :)

    1. Thanks. Not at the same time though. Or wear a bib LOL

  4. This post was absolutely hilarious! Great job mate, very innovative and clever!

  5. You and my friend Al would become best buddies in no time at all! Great recipe in all the sound bites :)

    1. Thanks. He sounds like my kind of guy :)

  6. Oooooo eeeerrrr, I do say! Cracker of a post Iain. Don't mind me if I stick around and rifle through your drawers, er I means posts :) :)

  7. This is awesome-- I've never thought to incorporate sounds clips into my blog! The recipe also sounds delicious. Now I'm hungry.

    1. Thanks. It is a great dish and pretty easy to make

  8. This post had my manager standing over me threatening disciplinary action (I couldnt stop laughing). Awesome post Iain, we defs need more of this kind of fabulous content in the blog world. Thanks for the giggle, for proving officially that my boss is a twat) and for the recipe too. :)

    1. Thanks. It seems that the number of twats in management is higher than in everyday life. Probably something to do with the Peter Principle LOL
      Glad you enjoyed the post and the recipe :)