Thursday, 5 June 2014

Chicken fajitas with salsa roja ¡Ay Caramba!

The fun thing about fajitas is that the name sounds vaguely rude if you don't pronounce it right. Of course, you could buy a sachet of pre-prepared powdered rubbish to make fajitas but they fall into the category of over-priced shite. I know it takes longer, but this is so much better. It's the difference between kissing a cat's arse and rimming an angel. 
I'll add some pictures next time I do this recipe
For the chicken
 400g chicken (I used thigh fillets, but it could be breast fillet) cut into bite-sized strips
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1/2 tsp dried oregano
1tsp smoked paprika
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 or more green chillies, finely chopped* (with seeds unless you're a fucking lightweight)
Good grind of black pepper
Pinch of salt
Olive oil
25ml tequila (or rum at a pinch. Definitely not vodka, Sambuca or Dubonnet fucking Red)
Juice of one lime
1 green pepper and 1 red pepper sliced into strips
1 medium sized onion, sliced
Bottle of lager

For the salsa
70g cherry tomatoes, finely chopped (you can use bigger tomatoes but cherry ones have more flavour and are sweeter) 
1 small red onion, finely chopped
1/2 tsp whole cumin
1 red chilli, finely chopped, including seeds*
Black pepper
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar (no, you can't use Sarson's malt, you fucking pleb!)

*Avoid touching your genitals by hand until you've washed them thoroughly, unless you're in training for a sponsored urinary tract infection marathon and want to get accustomed to the feeling

Combine the spices, oregano and garlic together with the oil and add the tequila and half of the lime juice.

Mix well to make a paste in a bowl then add the chicken.

Stir to coat the chicken thoroughly, cover and let it marinate like a fat bloke wallowing in Radox. A couple of hours does a reasonable job, but overnight is better.

Prepare the salsa by combining all the ingredients in a dish and mixing well before covering and putting in the fridge. This can be done any time but the longer it's left the better as it helps take the sharpness from the onion.

About half an hour before dinner time, heat up a frying pan or (if you're a pretentious foodie prick like me) a griddle pan, nice and hot.

Add a splash of olive oil and chuck in the chicken plus any remaining marinade.

Fry it up until it's cooked through, about 10 minutes or so.

Throw in the peppers and onions and fry them for a few minutes until the are tender.

Keep the mixture moist by adding the limejuice plus the odd splash of lager.This washes the marinade from the pan, helping to coat the vegetables with it with the added bonus that it tastes of beer.

Drink the rest of the lager, obviously.

The tortilla wraps take about 10s each in the microwave to warm, one at a time, or you can warm all of them in about 30 seconds, covering them with a couple of sheets of kitchen roll.

Roll a fat one in a wrap with the cooked chicken and some salsa.

Add sour cream, guacamole if you're a fussy twat.

Drink more lager with it, or margaritas.


I know people into wine have a tendency to twat on about terroir and shit like that when talking about wine, and it's mostly bollocks. However, in terms of a drink to go with a meal, there is something to be said of choosing something that originates from the same part of the world. In the case of these fajitas, it really needs to be Mexican. Corona is best, in my sweary fucking opinion, but Sol (which is way more bland) still works. Carling, Fosters or Stella don't work so don't bother

If you do the Mexican lager thing with lime slice in the neck of the bottle, don't be a cock and leave it sicking out. Squeeze the juice into the bottle and push the wedge right in so you can actually taste the fucker.